The Un-Edited Tales of a Married 20 Something Year Old Working Mother: Career Tales

Around New Years I posted that I wanted this blog to start getting personal again. Often times it is much easier hide behind the illusion of perfection or lightheartedness then to face the reality that you are in fact human. But in an effort to stay true to myself, and this blog, here goes nothing.

I always knew I wanted to be something great. My dreams bounced from buyer for a high-end department store, children’s bookstore owner, wedding dress model (ah- the aspirations of an 8 year old), to a career in marketing and back again. But I also knew I always wanted to be a mother.

My career path happened mostly on accident. I decided at the old age of 20 to start school. I opted for a merchandising program at a prestigious private school. This also came with a high end price tag- but more on my student loans later. While working toward my degree I also got my first, real adult job at a bank. Which lead to more banking, and eventually a job as a staff accountant at a small winery. Fast forward 8 years and I have one class to go to graduate and am still working for wineries.

I won’t get into all the details- but working and meeting my husband and getting married and having a baby has consumed my years. I still want to graduate, and still plan to, but there have been so many other things that have come up along the way.

I have fulfilled my dream of becoming a mother. Which is in itself something beyond great. But now I stand on a path looking forward not so sure if I can see the path of a successful career. Was school a waste? Never says my mother. Should I have put off marriage and babies and thrown myself into a career? I can barely type the words that life seems so sad now that I know what being a wife and mother is all about.

I find myself on this path daydreaming often about where to go. I see myself picking up a camera and beginning to capture the beauty that other photographers have captured of me. I think about waiting a few more years until the babe is in school and joining one of the amazing companies I have always longed to work for, like Kate Spade or Victoria’s Secret. I picture myself settled down with another baby and a happy home of running errands and scrubbing the kitchen floor.

I would like to think I have endless possibilities. But now is the time where I need to get my feet moving forward. Maybe not directly toward something- just forward…

“I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life’.”
Maya Angelou

I know I want to make a life that I can look back on and feel accomplished and successful- while still feeling present. Am I asking for it all? Can I have my cake and eat it too? I sure hope so!

 

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